One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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