p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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