My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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