you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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