i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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