We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
