I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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