You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
