TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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