I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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