we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
