hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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