im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
