i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
