1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Randomize
