How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
