i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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