Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
