I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
