i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
