No stitches, just platelets and will power
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
