he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
