If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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