Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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