he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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