I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
