I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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