I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize