her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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