actually, I'm a sock model
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
