she looked like the bat from fern gully.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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