I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Randomize
