It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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