you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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