My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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