I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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