she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize