if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize