I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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