I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My Higher Power is John Stamos
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Come share oat with me in your robe
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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