Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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