Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize