we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
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