when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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