I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Randomize
