I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My dick has a subreddit
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
