Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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