I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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