We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You are a genius and a whore.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
