that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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