He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
