Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
