So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
