I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just gift wrapped bread.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
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