We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
