so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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