playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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