i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
