I'm lost and stupid without you.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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