hotel room ftw
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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