Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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