so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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