Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
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you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
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He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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