Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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