You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
