i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
