So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
