I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
