dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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