It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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