this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
