Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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