Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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