So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
