normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Pants are for mortals
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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