is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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