yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
