Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
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there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize