Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
