I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
