Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
